Retrograde reminds me of the stereotypical girl in high school who tries way too hard to be liked: flashy appearance, kinda loud, obnoxiously trendy, but overall, has very little class, substance, or value. I went to Retrograde on a Thursday night, and I was immediately struck by the blaring music that made it almost impossible to converse with the person sitting less than a foot away from me. Strike one. Now, let’s talk about the drinks: when it comes to cocktails I tend to like traditional cocktails, but I can certainly appreciate experimental variations. Retrograde’s drinks, however, each contained an entire paragraph’s worth of ingredients and all sounded nauseatingly extravagant. I ordered the least ostentatious drink on the menu -- it was too sweet for my taste, and unremarkable in every way. Strike two. For my second drink, I ordered a very common, classic, spirit-forward cocktail, and the bartender had to Google the recipe. I’ve ordered this particularly drink at dozens of bars, and I have never once encountered a bartender who could not make it on the spot. Even with the help of Google, my drink turned out far too sweet. Strike three. I will not be returning to Retrograde. I believe that the people who would most enjoy the Retrograde experience are people who prefer drinks that taste more like sugar than spirits. If you’re looking for a more traditional speakeasy experience, head to Williams & Graham.